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There are five friends named *somebody, *nobody, *mad, *stupid and *fool

somebody and nobody were fighting.

somebody killed nobody.

mad quickly called the police. 

mad: Hello sir

Police: can we help you

mad: yes somebody just killed nobody

Police: are u stupid!!

mad: no, stupid is in the bathroom bathing

Police: are u mad!!!

mad: yes am mad

Police: you must be a fool!!!

mad: no, fool is the one reading this

- Do you speak english?

- Yes

- Name?

- Abdul al-Rhasib

- Sex?

- Three to five times a week.

- No, no... I mean male or felame?

- Yes, male, female, sometimes camel.

- Holy cow!

- Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.

- But isn't it hostile?

- Horse style, doggy style, any style!

- Oh dear!

- No, no! Deer runs too fast...

1) i woke up

2) went to school

3) i saw her

4) i run to her and hugged her

5) i kissed her

Actually the right order is 2 3 4 5 1

Today is Sperm Appreciation Day

Lets have a Moment of Silence in honor of those children who were not born but were......

1. Swallowed during a Blow job,

2. Thrown away in a Condom,

3. Washed in trousers during Masturbation, 4. Dropped on someones breast and died in tissue paper,

5. Slipped on someones hips and lost with water..

6. And many more untold incidents. ... Consider Yourself very lucky to be alive. 'cause You made it!

You are a Sperm That Survived!! You were the fastest swimmer and you made it!!

You were a Sperm that survived while billions of others Perished.

So do not feel down.

Live Life and Enjoy Life.

If you made it when you were a Sperm... You can make it in Life too!

Breakings news:

Government have pass a motion that all beautiful ladies and handsome man will be paying tax starting from first of August.

After reading this you smile cause u know u are exempted.